The Companion is the position of sitting with the person with dementia in their lack of motivation or direction or knowledge of what to do about the situation. Companion is the position of presence. Motivation and activity are low. It can be tiring to function at such a low level of activity. It can also be anxiety-provoking to sit with the lack of direction and action. However, it can bring you together in a way that you may not normally get to do when you are active and busy. This can be a companionship that brings comfort and calmness. It is the position of “being with” rather than “doing with”.

It may be that these are the times when dementia becomes the third presence in the room. Feelings about the dementia can emerge in each of you and come to awareness. How do you each feel about this “thing’ that has changed your lives? May be that is what you end up doing – talking about ‘not doing’.

Tomorrow we look at how to move from one position on the relationship compass to another